6 questions you should ask if you want to date your ex’s friend

Last Updated: September 1, References. She provides therapy to people who struggle with addictions, mental health, and trauma in community health settings and private practice. There are 14 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been viewed , times. Breakups can be tough. Feelings of jealousy, self-consciousness, sadness, and anger are prevalent in such an emotionally-charged situation. To deal when your ex dates your friend, talk to your friend so you can work through your emotions and maintain your friendship without feeling sad or angry.

Is it ever OK to date your friend’s ex?

Which is, of course, the people you already know. They likely know the restaurants you like and some of your Game of Thrones fan theories — they also probably know all the gory details about you and your ex. There are pros and cons to all of these scenarios. Who cares about what other people think? This is usually solved by being up front with both your ex and their friend and asking. But friendships are complicated.

How does one deal with being attracted to a friend’s ex-boyfriend? her of her own disappointment that she’s still waiting for a similarly good match. a man for a long time without you knowing about it, unless this was before you met her.

Sometimes it seems like the universe just likes to laugh at your life. That’s certainly the case when you find yourself attracted to your ex’s friend! Depending on the situation, it might either be a funny coincidence or something that could tear apart a friend group. Here are a few rules to keep in mind when trying to figure out whether it makes sense to start something up with your ex boyfriend’s bro. Think about your past relationship as objectively as possible. How serious were you guys?

5 Rules for Dating Your Ex’s Friend (Also, Can You Even Do That?)

The dating-a-friend’s-ex equation is simple: Figure out the amount of time your friend and his ex dated, then wait two-thirds of that time before you move in on the ex. So if your friend dated someone for three years, you have to wait two years after their breakup. If it was six months, you have to wait four months.

One day, after a particularly nasty fight, something between us broke for good. When he first told me he was dating somebody else, I felt sick to my stomach even though I was doing the So we sucked it up and stuck it out for the long game. As if you can be friends with an ex you were once in love with!

Of course! Not all relationships are created equal, and sometimes relationships were ended for very, very good reasons. If your partner was incompatible, manipulative or abusive, it’s not a good idea to get back involved with them — even if it’s platonic, and even if it’s at their urging. I’ve never had a reading before and this was the best experience I’ve had. Dr Okiti makes you feel very comfortable and at ease. I was obviously very nervous and she reassured me that it was going to be okay.

You’re Not a Bad Person for Wanting to Date Your Friend’s Ex, But You Need to Do It Right

Lots of people have told me unequivocally that they would never date a friend’s ex. They wholeheartedly believe that it’s wrong, disrespectful, and if a friend did that to them, they’d never talk to that person again. They believe this is something everybody knows, that they’re just following the rules. What I’ve noticed, though, is that every person I’ve heard espouse this worldview was straight.

Dating your friend’s ex could get messy, but does that mean it’s forbidden? Wait – Is It Ever Acceptable To Date Your Friend’s Ex? The Dating The problem is, my friend had a deep relationship with this girl, and I think he’s still kind of in love with her. True chemistry between people is incredibly rare.

It all comes down to how your friend feels about it. You were a good friend and kept your feelings to yourself for long enough. It was a mutual breakup with no hard feelings. This is the ideal situation. Go ahead and ask him out. Just ask her. Is your best friend in a happy, committed relationship? Know what that means? You love him more than her.

9 signs you probably shouldn’t date your friend’s ex

By using our site, you acknowledge that you have read and understand our Cookie Policy , Privacy Policy , and our Terms of Service. Interpersonal Skills Stack Exchange is a question and answer site for people looking to improve their interpersonal communication skills. It only takes a minute to sign up. See this question for more context. I plan on asking my friend Penny out.

Some of your exes are now your best friends or remain a significant part of your lives. understanding that neither of you wants to pursue dating [each other] again.” with another person after a year, you should probably keep waiting because “there was a lack of attunement between you and your ex,”.

By Chris Seiter. Today we are going to be talking about a question I get all the time from my coaching clients ,. However, what I do expect is for you to pay attention and keep an open mind. When my coaching clients ask me what it is my response is almost robotic,. The No Contact Rule- Is a period of time where you ignore your ex on purpose with the intent of making them miss you while at the same time giving yourself some time to cultivate your own life.

I have found that there are three ideal time frames for how long you should be doing the no contact rule for. And it just so happens that when you contact your ex will rely heavily upon which time frame you choose during your no contact rule. Oh, and in case you were wondering the no contact rule is an essential part of the overall strategy for getting your ex back. Some of my peers will sit there are recommend even longer no contact periods but I have found those to be ineffective.

Following this line of thinking we can assume that if your ex wanted to it would only take them 66 days to get out of the habit of thinking about you. Often when I am coaching someone they will ask,.

10 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Decide To Date a Friend’s Ex

How to get your ex girlfriend to commit to you again. Before things get serious, ask yourself these 10 questions to see if it’s a good idea to get back together with your ex. But the romantic relationship finished in some way and you would like to get your ex girlfriend back. Does he give you a slight smile? Same thing if you get eye contact at a distance, in a park, or at a bar.

It may seem trivial, but how long you wait could improve or ruin your chances of an ex (while explaining it verbally to my friend) when he announced he could hear to know how long after a breakup you should wait before contacting your ex. so to do with break-ups, exes, single life, dating and relationships in general.

Want to discuss? Please read our Commenting Policy first. Communication is vital if maintaining the friendship is important to you. Indifference is the opposite of love. A good way to gauge this is by suggesting an outing where your friend and their ex will both be present. You also need to ask yourself if the ex has had enough time to heal from the breakup or you could risk being the rebound. Do they check off most of your boxes? Do you have strong indication that they reciprocate your feelings?

A lot depends on the length of time your friend was with this person. A couple of years and a couple of months are two very different time frames and carry different sensitivities. It comes down to how you view your friendship — only you can answer which is more important. World Canada Local. Full Menu Search Menu. Close Local your local region National.

When Should You Go After Your Friend’s Ex?

I always thought break-ups were simple affairs. Much better to take a practical approach: delete their number, block their social media accounts and purge their leftover belongings from your home. He was my best friend. We grew up together in Sydney and had one of those freakishly close relationships that only really develop during childhood. We shared everything: from school gossip to family problems.

When it’s a friend of a long-term ex, it can be trickier, especially if you all for that factor before falling head over heels with their best friend.

To illustrate how much the timeframe can vary, we talked to nine women about how long it took them to take that scary leap of faith. It ended up being a total disaster—the guy was criticizing how I ate pizza—so I had to cut that nightmare short and have a friend come pick me up. It gave me more time to get to a better place mentally and emotionally and sort through and address the feelings I was having.

When I had initially gotten on Tinder, that was more about instant validation. A lot of that was age—I was in my mid-twenties and I wanted to go out and do what my girlfriends were doing and date like them. My ex and I were separated, and I wanted to put the whole thing behind me. I had moved to D. On one date, I told the guy and he freaked out.

I was unhappy in my marriage, so to go from that to having someone treating you kindly and complimenting you was so nice. Dating has been a really positive experience for me. My kids were in elementary school when we separated, and I wanted to wait until they were grown until I really started to focus on myself. My biggest fear was having a different boyfriend every Christmas. It was also my second divorce and I felt like I needed to regroup emotionally to figure out why I had made some bad or hasty decisions with relationships.

But recently I went on a tour of beautiful homes with friends, and we saw this incredible bathroom with a claw foot tub, fireplace and view of the lake out the window, and it was so romantic.

Can you ever be best friends with an ex?

But every once in a while, the universe speaks to a person and lets him know that, although it seems wrong at first, there might be a bigger reason your friend dated this person in the first place — maybe it was to connect the two of you, instead. Such a situation, of course, can be tricky, and must be handled with care. Two men talking on a walk iStock.

Gosh when I was dating my ex (long distance) I spent a lot of time on the I should wait at least 15 to 20 days before you speak to with my ex.

It just sort of happened. In discussing this topic with my female friends, it seems to me that men are especially experienced in dealing with this dilemma. Say a friend of mine breaks up with so-and-so, and we run into her at a party. In some ways this is perfectly natural. This sort of stuff happens more than you might think.

But you do need to make sure you go about this right. Anyone who has had any sort of meaningful romantic relationship can tell you that—over it or not—it would be difficult for them to be around their ex.

7 Signs You’re Not Ready To Be Friends With Your Ex After A Breakup

As you can read in the guide to get your ex back and my guide to get your ex girlfriend back , I recommend that you stay at least 30 days without contacting your ex. Did you know that breakup pain is associated with the same part of your brain as drug addiction? You know how some people say they are addicted to their significant other? Well, in reality, this addiction is very real. And the best way to handle any addiction is to stay away from the drug.

I know that you want your ex back and you see no point in staying away from them when all you want is to end up in their arms.

It could ultimately cost you your friendship/via Your friend is more than fair if she asks you how long you and her ex have entertained dating each other. And even if the topic didn’t come up before they ended their relationship, you certainly shouldn’t blame her for thinking that (No, we’ll wait for the answer on this one ​).

Pat Benatar alerted the nation of the state of love when she compared it to the heavy artillery and dirty bombs one faces in a war. But do you think the idea of my body being metaphorically blown to smithereens stopped me from dating not one, but two yeah But this isn’t about Peter fake name , Jessica fake name , or even Mothra Blurgenstein shockingly, actual name — kidding!

From the lips of relationship fuck-ups and our resident sex sociologist, Dr. Chauntelle Tibbals, here is what you should and shouldn’t do while dating the ex of a friend. What kind of ex are we talking about here? Did they date for a week in eighth grade and break up via AIM? Have they been together for 10 years and just ended things in an emotionally draining way? Assess the situation by putting yourself in their shoes and thinking about how you would react if the situation was flipped.

I went for my best friend’s first ex-girlfriend a day after they broke up. Suffice it to say, neither one of them was over it. Sorry, Peter, I was very much the asshole in the situation. Seriously, what is it about him or her that’s worth potentially ending a friendship over? Is it just a physical thing?

Can a Friend Date Your Ex?